Monday, November 1, 2010

Revisiting the Chapel Room

JesusImage via Wikipedia
Dear Castle Visitors, as I once again enter this Chapel Room broken and dismayed, I am also overjoyed to have this quiet room in which to speak and listen to the Lord, seeking once again to find the peace that passes all understanding when we approach the throne of God with a humble and contrite heart.
For the last few months it has seemed as though I've been in an endurance race.
I've attempted to force my opinions on others and at times I've even sought refuge in getting my own way and being in control. On the surface, I was intimidating,angry,mouthy and even arrogant,all the while knowing that these actions were not from the Lord.
Since I felt I had power and control in some areas of my life, I grew reluctant to yield once again to the true ruler and controller of all that happens to me**GOD**
You, dear Jesus, have pled my case before God on several occasions, pulling me once again out of the miry clay to acknowledge my need to surrender all of me to God's will and His way.

I may stumble many times in my journeys on earth,perhaps I may even fall
It is a comfort to know at those times that Christ Jesus will answer even my faintest call.
Let us not become fixated on the schakels and chains this life may bring
Rather let us rise above them and with joy in our hearts to Christ Jesus sing.
Once again I am re-newed, re-freshed, re-vitalized.
I'm going to linger here a while longer basking in HIS love, mercy,and grace.
Thanks for re-visting the Castle..
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Friday, May 21, 2010

The Ballroom

I'm here dancing through the steps, going through the motions hoping I'll get them right this time.

This is my ballroom of life's expectations or should I say my expectations.

Tiptoeing on the edge of disciplinary actions, in a home with an alcoholic dad and a strict mom became a day to day struggle.

As I grew older I would strut around, flaunting the fact to my brother and sister that I had once again used my cunning ways to sidestep getting whipped. Sometimes one of them would be blamed for what I had done.

Just as the fox learns how to do the foxtrott in the hen house to get the prize chicken, I too learned how to trot around the challenges confronting me in order to get what I wanted. Those wants were only based on adolescent desires which I soon learned were fragmented and wrong.

Skirting issues and pretending soon became old hat and as I put on another pair of dancing shoes, I tapped my way into a marriage,to my first husband, that afforded me the opportunity to escape from the home of my childhood. I thought, at the time, with this new home,new chance and someone to really love me I could dance my way into a whole new scene in this journey of my life.

Trube Castle. Galveston, Texas. Photo by Nick SaumImage via Wikipedia

I see by the clock on the wall that this dancing session has come to an end.
I will be back to tell you of more dance steps I've learned along the many journeys in my life.

Thanks for visiting Me at the Castle. I look forward to your future visits.

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Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Castle

My life has seemed like a castle with so many rooms to explore. The room of Gladness where joy and hope abound. The room of self-doubt where fears and lack of self esteem reside.

Then I go a little further down the corridor and chance upon a room I very seldom visit. The room of regret and remorse. At first glance I can see a cobweb of delight lingering in the corner saying, "OH WOW, she's come back to pick us up again."

But then I am reminded why I don't come here much anymore so I quickly close the door and amble on my way, for this castle holds so many more rooms to be unlocked and perhaps memories to unfold.

So on it is I go, but oh, alas, what do I behold? Oh yes, it's a mirror afixed upon the door to my next room to explore. I see a foggy haze, perhaps a cloud of gloom and despair awaits inside this room. But to my great amazement and with much delight and joy as I finally find the courage to look within, it is the Lord in this room, abolishing me of all sin and guilt, doubt and despair. It is in this room I long to linger.

And yet Christ says to me "Now that you are walking with me and I with you, there are many more rooms in this castle for you to explore. Ones of Hope, Love, Faith and more and more and more."

So on I go to see what else My Lord has in store for me while in this dwelling place I explore...............Pam Fidler

Bittersweet Joy

I'm glad you've chosen to come along with me to the next room I'm about to enter here at the castle. This room brings bittersweet Joy to me. Before we venture inside I need to linger at the door for a moment or two, while I pause, think and reflect on what we are about to view.

OK, I believe I'm ready now and soon you may understand why I needed to pause before entering this room of Joy. It was only 1 year ago on July 4,2008 that I entered this bittersweet room of Joy when I bid my mom goodbye from this earthly world.

You may be asking how could that possibly bring Joy? The bittersweet part still remains with my longing to hug and hold her again and say "I love you" face to face. The Joy is in knowing that I will one day be united with her again because she was saved by accepting Jesus into her heart as I too have done. Knowing this brings Joy even now as the tears trickle from my eyes.

I will probably revisit this room once in a while; however, as I've mentioned before, there are many more rooms in this old castle to explore. So for now I close the door on this bittersweet room of Joy..........................Pam Fidler

The Chapel Room

Let's put on the robe of rightousness for His name sake for we are now entering the Prayer, Meditation, and Communion with God room...AKA Chapel Room...

I come here on a daily basis seeking guidance, wisdom, direction and that so greatly appreciated unconditional love and acceptance from my Father God.
Sometimes that comes in an ever so gentle redirecting nudge that I may once again step out of the miry clay and set my feet on His rock. Other times I've found myself truly repentent of a wrongful action done or word spoken to someone.

I've found whichever direction the daily conversation in this room with God may take, the destination is always loving, forgiveness from Him when on bended knee I come and with repentance I bow before Him in acceptance of His will and His way for my life

Whichever path, corridor, or room I may be led to, He has assured me He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). What a blessed assurance I find that to be as I walk hand in hand with Him on this earthly life's journey.

I pray that each of you will find a Chapel room of your own and enter into that blissful state of communing with God on a daily basis.

Turning Point

I've been wandering up and down this hall for quite some time almost as though I were lost, but then again, not. Which way should I go, which room should I enter today? All of a sudden my eyes gaze upon a sign on the door just ahead of me: The Turning Point. Maybe this is where I can find some answers to my wanderings and at times, weariness. Well, as the saying goes...Here goes nothing, or maybe in my case it could be here comes everything. Enter with me if you'd like.

In the far corner of a bookshelf, in a worn out journal long forgotten from my many years past,the pages tattered and worn, I find these words: Our lives have many ups and downs, Joys and frowns..yet deep within each crying heart is a need to belong...a place to set our sites on Heaven above and to seek His wisdom and His know that as we carry life's baggage around His love and mercy will always abound. He can lift us up and bring us to that turning point in our walk with Him. To know that only through Jesus blood shed for our sins we are made the victors in and through God's mercy and grace.

So as I said when I entered this room, "Would it be here goes nothing or here comes everything?" I've found that in here it did come..that turning point in my life where the wandering is becoming less frequent and the weariness is almost gone. I awaken, turn, and point my way toward Jesus at the beginning of each new dawn. As I place the old journal back on the shelf and walk out the door I stop and say "Thank-you" once more!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Garden

Today I'm about to enjoy the room that lies beyond these castle doors. The one that has no boundaries of man-made walls. The room of God's great outdoor creations.

My backyard garden sanctuary. As I look around, the chickadees, rosy finches, doves
and other feathered friends are awaiting my arrival knowing I've come prepared to refill their bird feeders once again. As I prepare to do so, I am caught off guard by a glimpse of a fluffy tailed squirrel scampering across the roof of the near by wood shed. He must be looking for more peanuts to quench his appetite. While finishing this everyday feeding ritual, I find myself lingering for a moment to give thanks to the Lord for the privilege of listening to and viewing these intriguing creatures.

There are a number of other tasks needing my attention.. the roses are looking quite lovely which reminds me that a vase of these beauties would

add splendor to the castle's foyer table. Now I'm off to the various other flower and vegetable areas in this great outdoor room. The tomato and cucumber vines are in need of tying up once again so they can stretch upward and grow wonderful fruit to harvest in order to be used in salads and other culinary delights. The patty pan squash, onions, asparagus and beets are all doing quite nicely; however, upon further observation I see hoeing is needed to rid them of the ever dreaded weeds which seem to thrive prolifically.

Once the hoeing is finished I grant myself a rest in the lawn chair by the shade of the big Japanese elm tree. Here I am able to gather my thoughts of how blessed I am to be given the opportunity to be my Lord and Savior's hands and feet to care for a small portion of His wonderful creation here in this great outdoor room.

While viewing the castle I know that I will need to go inside soon as there are many rooms within beckoning me to return. But for now I wish to capture a few more memories while soaking in the grandeaur of my garden sanctuary.. I bid you, my friends, adieu until once again you choose to stop by and visit.

by Pam Fidler

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